His absolute “non-gayness” is most evident at around 1:20.

Enjoy!

Yes I know, this is the Season2 cast…I could not for the life of me find a cast photo for Season 5. Just shows how little Bravo has invested in this lackluster season, which is probably why it’s chock-full-o-lack luster characters and why most of the challenges are centered around promoting PRoRo‘s sponsors (make a dress out of a Saturn, anyone?)

That said, I was pretty jazzed about the initial promise of last night’s challenge: recent college grads who need to look like adults for their post-college lives? HEROOOOOOOOO, this is, like, so totally my life! Plus, these girls…

Hmmmm: vintage, androgyny and American Apparel V-Neck men’s t-shirts? These women were plucked straight from the awkward quads of Oberlin, the ones littered with ladies who need their roots done REAL BAD.

As promising as this challenge was…um, is it just me, or do these designers actually have no idea what it means to work in an office?

 drrrrrrrr, business casual?

These designers were totally dumbfounded about making clothes for young, professional women. This was by far the most straightforward design-for-real-people challenge so far this season and watching these people struggle to dress these cute, fashionable girls was…confusing.

Let me tell you, designers, what 2008 is not. 2008 is not 1960: these girls are not secretaries! Shit, one of them was going to med school for fuck-sake…do you think she’d be comfortable giving a rectal exam in this short little number?

I think not! What happened to pants, people? PANTS! Seriously, this isn’t Mad Men.

And those girls are NOT Joan. And can I just say…DAMN

Anyway, I was glad Jerrel won, his girl was happy and felt beautiful at the end of the competition and that made me warm inside. Overall though, I really hope Karto takes the whole thing. She is the bomb.com, and those pictures of her and her adorable daughter had even my boyfriend, who pretends to hate children, swooning out in the open.

We’ll have to wait and see I suppose!

PEAS!

September 4th marked my 1 year anniversary in New York City. And what a year its been!  Brooklyn is certainly different than any other place I’ve ever lived, way more bodegas and boutiques and way fewer trees and SUVs than this Texas girl is used to. But it’s grown on me. I’m about a week into AllieBK: Year Two…and so far so…similar to Year 1. But I’m confident that this year will bring positive changes and exciting challenges and blah blah blah, lets talk about TV.

With the exception of an increasingly bizarre season of WEEDS, and a 5th run of Project Runway lack which lacks any real fun/quote worthy characters, this summer was so incredibly void of anything worth watching on the ‘ole Telly that I fell into a nighttime routine that included, !GASP!, reading, doing arts and crafts, and spending way too much time out of the house. I even resorted to netflixing total 90s crap like the first season of Beverly Hills 90210 which, if you aren’t a 9 year old circa 1993 when I first saw the show, really is not very good. AT. ALL.

It’s because I’d become so accostom to this summertime mediocrity that I almost MISSED last night’s debut of my dear beloved J.J. Abrams’ new series, “Fringe”.

From Gawker today:

“Dustin Diamond, who played the lovable Screech on the most baffling teen show of all time, Saved By the Bell, is writing a tell-all book about his thirteen years on the show…he’ll detail the sex and drugs that went on behind the scenes with castmates—It will be called Behind the Bell.”

Yes!! This is JUST what I’ve been looking for, a fabulous distraction from the Prime time TV-less summer nights I’ve been suffering through lately. Seriously, it’s been tough these past couple of months, what with no LOST, Ugly Betty or Desperate Housewives (Yes, I still watch Desperate Housewives, I’m the one). At least Monday night is still a big hitter with WEEDS, and, COMING AUGUST 18th, THE HILLS’ RETURN! Woohoo! What a trailer!

Anyway, back to this book…I can’t WAIT to read it. Here are my predictions as to the “behind the scenes” debauch. Screech will bring to light:

-Tiffany Amber Thiessen was a big slut…duh.

-Elizabeth Berkley was also a big slut…mega duh.

-Mario Lopez took ballet lessons

-Mark Paul Gosslar was making $1.2 mil by show’s end.

-Lisa Turtle was a robot.

LARK VORHEES! This is going to be my favorite book, I just know it. It wouldn’t be the first time a book about Saved By The Bell has excited me this much. In 3rd grade I got this book called “How To Reach Your Favorite Star” at a Scholastic school book fair and, for something that cost probably $12 or so, I can’t tell you how much joy that little guy brought me. I wrote letters to Mark Paul, River Phoenix and Cindy Crawford (loved that mole). That book is the reason I know that Charlie Sheen and I have the same birthday. That was a big deal back then!

Anyway, Screech’s book is going to be a big hit, HUGE, even bigger than such notable memoirs by past SBTB alums as Tori Spelling (sTORITELLING) and Mario Lopez (Mario Lopez’s Knockout Fitness).

Speaking of Mario Lopez, PLEASE tell me you’ve seen this picture from PEOPLE last month:

HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA!!!!

Every time I see that picture, I LOL, dear God!

Man, that’s about all I can take for today. LOLOLOL

Say it ain’t so!

Poor SJP. Maybe this is karma. Maybe this is what she gets giving false hopes to a nation of single women who aspire to move to Manhattan and follow in the $1,500 Christian Louboutin  footsteps of Carrie Bradshaw, the wealthiest penniless female writer to ever strut the streets of Manhattan. Maybe she’s being punished for perpetuating the notion that women are utterly vapid narcissists who OBSESS over their relationships like egomanical twit-balls. Maybe she’s getting her come uppance for each time a teenage girl in Iowa watched her live her fantastical and completely unrealistic TV lifestyle and thought, “This is what I want from life: glitter and cocktails! Fuck my education, take me to Sushi Samba!”

Hmm, I dunno, just guessing. Sucks for her though, I bet Ferris Bueller is a great kisser.

 http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/TV/07/17/emmy.nominations/?iref=mpstoryview

Oh well.

Off to Wisconsin!

Happy weekend, all!

LONG LIVE THE WIRE!